So everyone knows that rope can be risky. There are lots of dangers involved in using it on someone. I have never had a major problem with rope or suspensions. I have gotten uncomfortable, I have had it get painful and needed to come down quickly. But I have never needed to get down NOW!! Well, that was true until Thursday night at Suspension. I was approached by a rigger who wanted to suspend me. I was totally flattered and looked forward to it. We discussed any problems I have with suspensions and positions I like. I also have two areas that need to be avoided. I had had plenty of water that day. I had eaten a good dinner prior to going out. I don't drink alcohol when playing. I was set to fly. Well, my body had a different opinion. Once I got up in the air, things got bad. Rope on my leg was uncomfortable, so we adjusted the rope and the position. Went back up. And things got blurry. I had no trouble breathing but I got blurry vision and felt like I was losing my ability to communicate. For the breath play fanatics- it was similiar to the right before you go under feeling. I was able to say I needed down NOW, but the rigger already seemed to know that. I was down and sitting on the ground with water in my hand before I knew it.
Now this is the first time I have really had a problem during play. I have been very lucky for playing the way I do to not have had a problem yet. I have to say I am glad this experience happened. It taught me the importance of knowing who you are playing with. And the importance of communicating. Plus it helped me to have another positive experience. As a bottom, I get upset when scenes stop because of me. It leaves me feeling like I am failing in some regards or not living up to expectations. The rigger in this scene was wonderful and did a great job just talking to me and sharing stories of other people who have had similiar reactions. He made me realize there is no shame in needing to end things. Sometimes it works out for the better. I had a VERY close call. Enough to leave me a little shaken up for a few minutes. But when I stopped to think about it- it just showed me I am a lot tougher than I think I am. Many people would stop and want a long break before playing again. I can't wait to fly again. I told a friend about this (who is also an accomplished rigger) he compared me to a Rubbermaid garbage pail. He said it should be a plus for rigger to hear this because it shows I am made of strong stuff and can bounce back from close calls still intact. It shows I have good spirit and strong constitution. After I got passed the "Did you just call me a garbage pail???" I had to laugh and smile at the reference.
I think this taught me a lot about myself. Plus it gave me a good look at how to handle a situation I could easily encounter as a top and a novice rigger. It also ran home how important it is to be comfortable with the people that you play with and them with you and how important it is to communicate and know your body. As a bottom, it is easy to always want to blame the top when something goes wrong. However, that is not always the case. Sometimes it is more even split of blame. And sometimes- no one is to be blamed. In this scene- it ended it poorly but I do not think it was either person's fault. Lesson learned- Kink throws you curveballs be prepared!!!
