So it finally happened! The Sir decided he wanted to put me up on FetLife as his submissive. It actually happened two days ago but I have been too excited to post about it yet.
I was sitting having dinner with the boyfriend when I checked fet and saw it. It came out of the blue. When I asked him about it he replied "It is a new year and we shouldn't have it hanging over our heads". I was all ecstatic.
This is something I have wanted for a VERY long time (over 3 years to be exact) and yet when it happened I was dumbfounded. I could not believe that it happened so suddenly and without any warning.
I suspect that events of the past few days led up to it. We had both been very worried about New Year Eve party we were heading to. It had the potential to be really horrible and full of drama. There was a lot going on and a few people around who increased the possibility of unpleasantness. But the most that happened was some moments of akwardness. It turned out to be a great evening. It featured a lot of fun. He beat the crap out of me, then had a friend suspend me in an inversion and two friends join him in using me as a punching bag. There was also lots of flogging, fire, needles, punching and cunt busting!
Then on New Year Day a good friend stop by to spend some time with us (me mainly though). She ended up spending the night. Sir was in mood to dish out more pain and I was close to broken from the night before and I went on with cleaning and blog improvements and job search stuff while they had some fun.
Now this was apparently some sort of breakthrough for me. I have strugled with some aspects of poly for a while. I have had trouble trusting my Sir and accepting that he isn't doing stuff to upset me or violating our parameters and agreements. (I had reasons for havign a hard time trusting.) However, things have been really good as of late so I had no reason to not trust him. (Plus if he is in my apartment he can't really lie about what is going on.) Also I have had a lot of conversations with people and some discussion with Sir about things that made me uneasy and it really helped.
Sir always said that he would put it up when he felt ready. And that he felt I "earned it". I never liked that feeling of having to earn the title on a website when I had it in real-life. But since it had always been such a bone of contention with us, I guess it was something to try to hold onto. I also know the last time he put someone up- it caused a LOT of problems. He felt pressured by his then-girlfriend and then-play partner to put the play partner. And then when that happened and I was NOT up there- it almost cost him his relationship with me (I do not think he realized that). And then there was a lot of drama regarding him being listed on my page. I think he was also expecting there to be fallout with his ex-girlfriend over putting me up there. I know he said he was worried over what she would say when it happened. It made me furious that he waited to put it up because of concern over her. Truth be told, I was growing very impatient with Sir prioritizing not hurting the feelings of someone who is just a friend at this point over hurting the feelings of his submissive.
